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Advance Comments for Brothers and Sisters in AdoptionSeptember, 2008… “What a courageous treatment of the issues in adoption. Arleta James dares to talk about the day the family becomes immobilized–that dark secret in child welfare that only the families themselves have, in the past, seemed capable of acknowledging openly. After walking with the reader through those depleting and terrifying days, she takes us to re-mobilization and renewal. She gets us to the place that families want to be, without overlooking the excruciatingly tough middle part.” Michael Trout, Director ”Don’t let the title of this book fool you! Arleta James has written a book not just about Brothers and Sisters in Adoption, but about the dynamics of any family formed by adoption. This approach to how a child’s past influences his blending into family dynamics is comprehensive, yet not bogged down with academic details. Examples from Arleta’s work as an attachment therapist are interwoven into the narrative to enrich this thorough, yet fast read. If you are working with families as they start the adoption process, put this at the top of the reading list. If you are a family seeking to grow through adoption, read this now, then again and again. If your family was formed through adoption years ago, this book will help you navigate the challenges of growing together as a family. This is an important tool for all who work in adoption to have at the forefront of one’s professional and personal library. Deborah Borchers, MD “Arleta James has captured so much of what actually happens in adoptive families in Brothers and Sisters in Adoption. Children who are already in the adoptive family often are exposed to difficult situations when parents decide to add a child to their family, and James addresses the issues head-on. This book will become the Bible for those families who choose to bring children into their existing families and for those professionals with whom they work.” Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. “Don’t be fooled by the title! Yes, this book is about brothers and sisters but it is also a most comprehensive look at adoption. The title could just as easily be Realistic Expectations About Adoption, hearing the stories of all members of the family. It explores pre and post-adoption as well as the psychological time-line of moving from immobilization to mobilization, and it includes many resources that would benefit all members of the adoptive family. Being comprehensive, it explores strengths and weaknesses, joys and challenges, moms and dads, brothers and sisters. This book should be an important guide for assisting families in making their ongoing journey of adoption.” Dan Hughes, Ph.D. “Arleta James has managed to write an engaging book that is so comprehensive that it may attain the status of a signature text. Arleta skillfully combines a scholarly review of the literature with numerous vignettes or stories which illustrate and educate so that the reader sees the situation or the problem through the eyes of the story teller. The perspective of the child adopted internationally or domestically, resident siblings, fathers, and mothers is so illustrative that an understanding of behavior as a form of communication should be enhanced. In addition, each family member will feel understood and validated as personal feelings and struggles are identified in the stories of others. Relatives, teachers, adoption professionals, social service social workers and mental health professionals will find this book essential if they truly want to understand the perspective of the child and his or her adoptive family. The letting go of the old expectations in the section on grief and the acceptance of a new normal in family relationships provides a fitting resolution to this realistic, insightful book.” Joanne May, Ph.D. “Kudos to Arleta James, who has filled a gap in the classic adoption literature with this book devoted to the well-being of siblings. Her book is not only thorough, but thoroughly enjoyable. In particular I liked her charts, including her easy-to-follow trajectories of children’s needs from placement into the coming years, and her “Mobilization Inventory” to help all family members to stay healthy. Thanks, Arleta, for this excellent resource. I will be referring to it in my practice and trainings. ” Deborah Gray, MSW, MPA “Thank you, Arleta, for providing for us an extremely important book that should be required reading for prospective adoptive parents and social workers involved in all facets of adoption. What a fantastic basis for discussion as we design, develop, and implement preparation for post-placement supportive programs. As this book documents so well, noone’s needs—parents or children’s—can be put “on hold” until healing has occurred. In fact, as many of us doing this type of parenting will acknowledge, total “healing” may never occur. We do know, however, that how we parent our children has a chance of at least making our grandchildren’s lives better. In my experience, that has served as a realistic expectation and goal. Thank you for providing some tools for us to ponder and use Barbara Tremitiere, MSW, PhD “The child welfare field, parent and practitioner, will unquestionably welcome this comprehensive guidebook to the world of adoption. Parents and potential parents, caseworkers, and therapists are given a great deal to ponder. This is ultimately a book about understanding, about communicating, and about normalizing adoptive family life….and it gives hope throughout. The ‘real life’ family examples are excellent, as are the resources found at the end of each chapter. Although self-defined as a book about siblings in adoption, it actually goes far beyond sibling issues. Rather, it offers a great deal of valuable information for families who are still without children, or who have no birth children, and who are considering their first adoption. There is a wealth of relevant statistics, and an in-depth realistic approach to adoption. Congratulations to Arleta James, who reaches out personally to each reader.” Maris Blechner, M.Ed. LCSW |